The lonely road

I've had a busy few months, what with the Kickstarter project getting its funding, the British Family Fayre, and then spontaneously visiting the International Jewellery London Show at Earls Court. Surrounded by people, discussing jewellery, hallmarking and my new venture, and please don't get me wrong, it's incredibly exciting, but I've never felt lonelier.

There comes a point when you've exhausted the patience of those close to you. I've just reached that point. How am I? I'm fine, because really I ache, have joint pain, my hip feels like its exploding, I have a sore throat, headache, have stiff muscles and no I didn't just run a marathon. I feel like its permanently the middle of the night because I'm so exhausted, but its okay, because I'm fine, I'm 'just' tired.
I had to write it somewhere, because I feel a little mad!

I'm loving the designs I'm coming up with, the mood boards and the decision to definitely be in the precious metal jewellery market. The purchase of metres of italian leather for bracelets and necklets, some especially for the male jewellery market. I can't wait to get back on my torch, but I've been sofa bound for the last week and I'm so frustrated. The only reason I wasn't bed bound is because the only bathroom in my house is downstairs and I couldn't keep going up and down the stairs. I pulled out the spare duvet and lay on the sofa. Thankfully I bought some sketch pads in Rymans so at least I could doodle.

The aching hit back in big time and its frustrating when your first and last thought of every day is 'I wish the pain would go away'. I fall asleep weaving glass round a mandrel in my head, it stops my mind focusing on the fact that when the sun rises I have to move beyond the aching muscles, hope the brain fog will leave me alone and pull myself together enough to sit up. Count my spoons, prioritise the day and then get up.

Once I'm in my workshop I'm fine, but getting there is painful. I know I over did it, I think it was worth it. Time will tell. I'll keep getting up.

Thank you for reading.

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Here we go! YAAY!

I can't believe three weeks has passed since I completed my Kickstarter project. The funding finally came through in the middle of last week and it took me 24 hours to realise it was actually spendable!

So what have I done? Freaked out mostly......then re-examined my Kickstarter wish list. Ordered the workshop, most important so I have somewhere to work. Then on Friday I placed an enormous order with Tuffnell Glass who have supported me by knocking nearly £100 off the price to help me get going. Thank you Martin, you're a star, and you now have another loyal customer.

The kiln will be ordered shortly and that takes up to 4 weeks for delivery, Martin is checking times with Paragon. I've gone for the kiln I priced into the project as I won't outgrow it anytime soon. The other kilns seemed much smaller, and I'd be less able to experiment with clays and kiln fused glass. It has cost me more than I had worked out, but that's because I've gone with the extra options for a bead door and window. This came recommended by Martin Tuffnell.
Thank you for the extra funds on Kickstarter, it has meant a world of difference.

Lastly I've had some exciting news this week from my local council. Although I won't be working full time due to my caring duties, and my M.E. I still qualify for the start up and enterprise grant. That's an additional £1000 this year, and another £500 if I'm still trading in Broadland's catchment in 12 months time.

The extra funds have enabled me to book my first trade stand! Oh my I'll be hitting the ground running as the stand is on 31st August in Westerham, Kent. It's the British Family Fayre and I thought this would be fitting for my first show. If you're in the area it's free to get in so please do pop along, if you're not I'm sure I'll be booking some more stands in the new year.

Bye for now!

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Troubled times and blue skies.

Anyone who knows me knows what I've been through, but I'm still an eternal optimist and hopeful that my Kickstarter project will get funded.

I've got two weeks to go, and I thought I'd share some of my background so you'll see the monies not wasted on me!

I have worked since I was 14, volunteering in my local cancer research shop. I've not stopped since, I've done property maintenance with my ex-husband. When I ended my marriage, I took my 3 year old son and moved in with my mother. My solicitor called it emotional rape because domestic violence back then was only physical, but it's better understood now as domestic abuse. You don't see it coming, first the snide comments about your clothes turns into losing all your friends, not leaving the house without permission, no access to money, being fearful you were doing everything wrong. It took me 2 years to realise this wasn't normal.

In 2003 I had a breakdown, my doctor explained it as I'd been pushing against a wall for 15 years and then the wall suddenly vanished. I fell over. I see now that it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which I was finally diagnosed with in 2007. The constant moving school as a child, my domestic abuse relationship, the struggle to keep a roof over my head, the homelessness.

In 2007 I was suicidal, if it wasn't for my husband I'm not sure what would have happened. He's been a star since he came into my life in 2001. Then as a final blow my P.T.S.D. manifested into CFS/ME in 2010, finally diagnosed in September 2011. It's been a hard journey letting go of the old me. I used to network weekly, take wedding photography jobs which lasted all day, bring sunshine into meetings, laugh all the time and run round the back garden with my children.

Now I'm looking for a fresh start. I've stabilised my M.E. (only a couple of crashes this year) and feel its time I swing back onto my work horse and do something new. My creative side has been calling for a few years now and I've decided to listen.

My Kickstarter project is a way to find the funding to create a Lampwork studio in my back garden. I can't go to the bank, it's art, and they think I'm high risk! I'm not, I'm a sure thing, I've got determination and a strength I found in my darkest days to keep getting out of bed in the morning. Check out my view, wouldn't you be inspired?


Please help me by pledging some money to help get me started again. Thank you.
http://kck.st/YZ0VmW

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.....raising awareness of what?

Trying not to panic, after all it's only 4 of 33! I've ignored the trolls who clearly are watching the recently launched Kickstarter thread and then try to sell you services.
If I had the money I wouldn't be on Kickstarter! I'd be buying the equipment and materials to do my project. But I've had no pledges since Saturday, even though its my birthday!

Then you start thinking of whacky ways to raise awareness, firstly of Kickstarter.....what's Kickstarter? Question I'm asked a lot. It's crowd funding. In this day it's virtually impossible to get funding from a bank unless you don't need it, like you've already got money? I'm a carer to an autistic spectrum child around school hours, and I have CFS/ME all the time, oh yeah that's question Number 2!

And I haven't even got close to explaining my project.


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Passion and surprises.

Hi, so I launched my project on Kickstarter, and after the initial celebration/nervousness I've been promoting it pretty hard.
Here's the link, in case you've missed it! http://kck.st/YZ0VmW

I'm cheeky enough to ask for support, or retweets. Out of the blue, I had the most amazing experience. On Saturday I asked for a cheeky retweet from Will King, the CEO of King of Shaves. What I got blew my mind! Not only did Will King take time out of his busy schedule to RT me on twitter, but he actually went to my project.

Then he backed it, requiring no reward in exchange, and wrote a tweet all of his own to encourage other people to back it....me!

What I got was a massive boost, then came the encouraging words "Make it Happen." So if I come across as nagging, or persistent, or repetitive, it's because I'm making this happen. I'm asking for your help, to promote me, to share my links, and to talk about the project. To drum up support.

I can't do this without you, pledges from all my friends and family won't be enough to get this funded. I can't go anywhere else for funds, I can't earn the money, I'm unemployable. If Will King can take a moment to watch my video, and invest in me, so can you.

Thank you
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Kickstarter

Well, I did it. Not only did I pass Kickstarter's guidelines to be allowed to post, but I actually clicked the launch button.

http://kickstarter.com/projects/kezzareece/inspired-by-Britain-made-in-Britain

Doesn't get more nerve wracking than this, but there was no procrastination and no self sabotaging. It happened so smoothly I could have blinked and missed it. However I'm aware that the hard work starts here. Now I have to promote it. If you can help please circulate my link around. I'm not fussy where, I just want to make my project total so I can move on to a truly mesmerising medium.


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So here we are

Nearly 7 months later and I've managed to quieten those projects which were screaming at me. I also made the decision to try to make Fire Faerie Designs my only business, and have spent the last 5 months I've readjusted my priorities and I pleased to say I'm in abetter place because of it.

Where to now? I've completed a silversmithing course, experimented with polymer clay and had the most amazing Lampwork workshop with Ray Skene from celticglass.co.uk. He was truly inspiring 3 years ago when I met him at the ICHF show at the N.E.C. He was incredible in a workshop. Unfortunately it means I've found a medium I want to work with full time.......glass. So I'm setting up a kickstarter project to try to get it funded. I would save up, but it would take me 5 years to raise enough. My urgency? I've been to 4 funerals in the last 9 months, and I've got a 5th one in a couple of weeks. Nothing like death to make you want to live, but as a sufferer of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (aka Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) I am aware that this infliction can be life shortening. I don't want to wait. I want to get on with my life.


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